


An All-Powerful Mage

by bitchinlesbian



Series: Love Without You Is Death [3]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bedtime Stories, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, Flashbacks, Gen, M/M, Multi, Nightmares, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:00:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22379614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitchinlesbian/pseuds/bitchinlesbian
Summary: Yennefer sits down next to her daughter, who pulls her into a hug not a second later. There is poorly hidden concern on her face, because children are told to worry about their parents, but she’s too grown not to. “You’re not dying are you?”“Never,” whispers Yenn. “Nothing could persuade me to leave my darling girl behind.” She smiles, eyes wetter than they normally are, and she quickly tries to wipe them away before she can see. Neither of them are used to being quite so open with each other. “I just had a nightmare and lost a little control. Archery brings back bad memories I haven’t necessarily tried to confront.”-----Wherein Yennefer has to realise that though she still suffers years after the Battle of Sodden, she has a family to share her pain with, and they deserve to know she's as human as they come sometimes.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: Love Without You Is Death [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605841
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	An All-Powerful Mage

**Author's Note:**

> As much as I love writing sexy things and all that, I love Yennefer in a way I might never be able to comprehend. The story she talks about is actually once I wrote for a girl I had a lot of feelings for, although it didn't work out with us either. This put me in a lot of feelings, and it's one of my favourite stories I've written so far. Feel free to follow my twitter for more content @/lokibarncs

“They’re good together, aren’t they? I didn’t think they’d get along at all,” states Yennefer, observing Jaskier helping Ciri pick up archery, a hidden talent of his they recently discovered. It was completely accidental, of course, but it meant the world to Ciri if Jaskier would teach her all of his skills.

Geralt keeps his arm around her shoulders, letting Yenn rest her head in the crook of his neck. “Well, life is unexpected. Strange as it might be, they get along very well, and Ciri needs to know more than one way of defending herself. We can’t stop her from growing up, but we can make sure she’s prepared.”

“You haven’t changed at all,” snickers Yennefer. “Constantly brooding philosophically, in that monotonous voice of yours. It’s like talking to an old, wise rock.”

“Thanks.” The monotonous voice is back when he says it, which just makes her smile more.

The past few years, they’ve all warmed to each other, and even though Yennefer and Jaskier were not exactly fans of each other at first, they’ve warmed to one another, become slightly more than friends, although they aren’t rushing or forcing anything. It’s not just Geralt that binds them, but rather mutual respect and a love that runs deeper than just physical attraction, but a connection on an emotional level, and for them, that’s enough.

“Mum, look! Bulls-eye!” shouts Ciri, looking incredibly proud, and Yennefer mimics the same look of pride on her face, overjoyed that her little girl has become the young woman she always imagined. “Your turn now! I want to see you do it too.”

Yenn hesitates for a moment, but Geralt’s hand on her shoulder helps her relax. “I know you’ve bad memories, but are you really going to let a teenager beat _you_ , an all-powerful mage?”

Yennefer likes to think that she’s a complicated being, that no one can truly ever know her as well as she knows herself, but the truth is, Geralt knows exactly how to get to her. She’s incapable of refusing a challenge, being one of the most stubborn people he’s ever met, and it is as much her greatest strength as her greatest weakness. The moment the bow touches her fingers, she feels both in and out of control, but she stands tall, aiming the arrow at the centre.

Breathe in, pull. Breath out, let go.

_It burns her, right down to her core, but she has to. There are no more archers, there is only her chaos left to save everyone, rage in her bones. They cannot afford a loss, not one that would ruin the Continent, one that would only bring pain to its residents, one that would make every life insufferable. Tissaia is counting on her, fate resting in her hands, and she will not disappoint her, never again will she disappoint her._

“Hey, hey. I’ve got you,” comes Geralt’s voice in her ear. She can feel his arms holding her close to him and she turns her head so that she’s nestling against his chest, not daring to open her eyes. Stuck between the past and the present, she is in turmoil, fire in her blood not letting her rest after all that she has overcome. She took a chance shooting that arrow, and it threw her against a wall and punched her in the gut, leaving her to cough up her lungs. “If you want to sleep, sleep. Rest is good for you.”

She shakes her head softly. “No,” she says into his chest. “I’m just… I’m exhausted. I thought I would be over the nightmares and visions by now. It seems I can’t escape.”

“Not to sound like your favourite philosophical rock, but confronting your fears head-on is the only way the nightmares will ever cease. You took a big step today.” He kisses her forehead, assuring her that she is not alone in her suffering. Family takes care of each other, and Geralt won’t let Yennefer think she has no one to turn to when she is in pain.

She plants a chaste kiss to his lips before removing herself from his body, taking a glance outside. The day has passed her by, night gracing the sky, and she knows that Ciri is probably worried about her. It’s not exactly a daily occurrence for Yenn to lose herself over a meagre thing like shooting an arrow. No parent wishes for their child to see them as weak and incapable.

She leaves the room in silence, bare feet on the floor not even making a sound. The door to Ciri’s room creaks open ever so slightly – she’ll have to fix that – and the candlelight shows Ciri’s very awake face staring at her, unsure of what to say or do. It’s something new for both of them, an exchange such as this.

Yennefer sits down next to her daughter, who pulls her into a hug not a second later. There is poorly hidden concern on her face, because children are told not to worry about their parents, but she’s too grown not to. “You’re not dying, are you?”

“Never,” whispers Yenn. “Nothing could persuade me to leave my darling girl behind.” She smiles, eyes wetter than they normally are, and she quickly tries to wipe them away before she can see. Neither of them is used to being quite so open with each other. “I just had a nightmare and lost a little control. Archery brings back bad memories I haven’t necessarily tried to confront.”

“Well, I have nightmares too sometimes, mainly about Cintra, but that doesn’t make us any weaker. You’re still the strongest woman I know, and nothing could ever change my opinion about you,” says Ciri, looking at her mother with pure compassion.

She’s definitely developed Geralt’s ability to look at things through different eyes and Yenn could not be more proud of the child she’s raised. Ciri may not be an adult entirely yet, but she’s well on her way to becoming a tough and kind woman. She’s not so little anymore, and it’s about time for her to come to terms with it.

“When I had a nightmare when I was small, you used to tell me stories to get me to sleep again. If you want, you can tell me one now. Maybe you’ll feel better,” suggests Ciri. Yennefer smiles and nods, so Ciri scoots over to let her mother lay down beside her. Unknowingly, this is something they both need, a moment to bond after months of hard work.

“There once lived a heartbroken poet, her mind and heart constantly at war, for she did not know who she was inside,” she starts in a soft voice. “It took her a long time to realise she could not be her true self without a love by her side, and she found that love through something as simple as a drunken night. A mistake brought them together, but they stayed together because their souls were sewn together by Destiny.

“And though a poet is good with words, she did not know how to explain to her love how she felt. _‘I’m awful at this. Explaining my feelings and whatnot, at least in a way that someone else would understand,’_ she said once, looking at her love’s hair all splayed out on the pillow like that was where it belonged.

“ _‘Then tell me in your way. Tell me like you’re writing a story and you’re putting all your poetic thoughts on paper.’_ Her lover always knew what to say to her, even if she herself did not know what she wanted to hear. _‘You’re a writer. Do what writers do,’_ she smiled.

“She could have probably talked all night, but that’s not how she would have gotten across what she wanted to get across. Talking isn’t like writing. You can’t erase what you’ve said and try again until you get it right. You have to be careful, something she always had trouble with. Thinking before speaking wasn’t exactly a thing she was good at.

“ _‘Nearly all of my day is consumed by thoughts of you. Your smile, your eyes, your kindness. The way you have practically all of the same interests as me, and even when something is more your speed than mine, I love seeing the passion that drives you. You light up, and seeing you so happy makes me happy._

“ _‘You’re affectionate, which is amazing, since I dream of kissing you at night. You care deeply about your friends, even if they’re more like family. You know how to comfort people when they’re hurting, but you know how to put someone in their place when they’re doing something they shouldn’t be. You have this incredible range of emotions so many people would be jealous of, that I’m jealous of sometimes._

“ _‘I am absolutely terrified of relationships, but you make me want to try. You are so important to me, and I am scared of losing you because of my fears, of course I am,’_ she said, looking at her with wide eyes, expectant eyes. _“It’s the way I am by default, but I’m not going to let that stop me from being with you.’_ ”

Ciri is asleep, head resting against her pillow with great joy. There is a ghost of a smile on her unconscious face, and with one last look, Yennefer leaves her be, closing the door behind her, heart pounding in her chest. She has kept that story inside her for so long, she does not know how it got out of her now, but it makes the weight on her shoulders a little lighter.

She heads outside, the wind biting at her bare arms, and she holds herself to keep warm. Yenn glances up at the moon, at the stars and the sky. “Are you ever going to tell Geralt about Nyx? Or is that not something you’re ready for?”

She should have known Jaskier would follow her outdoors. No doubt he was listening in.

“Oh, I don’t think anyone’s ever going to be ready to hear about the time I fell in love with a woman of the night and couldn’t save her,” says Yenn, breathing shakily, half-laughing, half-crying. Oh, many tears have been spilled today.

“Life is awful to us like that. Eventually it stops caring whether we’re happy or not, and tells us that we’re on our own,” says Jaskier, standing beside her and placing a comforting hand on her upper arm. “But the truth is, we’re never alone. Not if we open our eyes and look around every once in a while.”

They have these moments from time to time. They spend minutes or even hours just talking about the things they haven’t shared with anyone else, so special and intimate is their bond. It’s an opportunity for them to get out any pent-up feelings with someone who knows them in a different way than most. It’s rare to find a person like that, someone so easy to be open with, and they cherish their bond.

“I will tell him. One day. When I have the courage.”

“Well, until then, I’m always here. And I’m not going anywhere,” smiles Jaskier, always genuine with his words. “I understand how difficult these things are, and I will never rush you in a gentle matter such as this.”

Yennefer smiles back, eyes glistening. “Thank you, Jaskier. For all that you’ve done for me.”

They hold each other, understanding how they feel without a single word being uttered. A connection that transcends all the limits they face in life is truly a jewel in the dirt, and the embrace they’re in right now reminds them of how lucky they’ve been. It’s been a long, hard day and night, and this seems a good place for it to finish on.

**Author's Note:**

> [my ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/erissapphic)


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